Posts Tagged ‘Funny’

YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN…

  • You call a bathing suit a ‘swimming costume’.
  • You call a traffic light a ‘robot’.
  • You call an elevator a ‘lift’.
  • You call a hood a ‘bonnet’.
  • You call a trunk a ‘boot’.
  • You call a pickup truck a ‘bakkie’.
  • You call a Barbeque a ‘Braai’.
  • Striking employees dance in the streets outside their employers building to show how unhappy they are.
  • The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the programme you just finished watching.
  • You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.
  • You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you’ve never had any.
  • You can sing our national anthem in all four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
  • You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.
  • You go to braais regularly, where you eat boerewors and swim, sometimes simultaneously.
  • You produce a R100 note instead of your driver’s licence when stopped by a traffic officer.
  • You hire a ‘temporary’ security guard whenever you park your car.
  • You know a taxi can move twice its certified number of people in one trip.
  • You travel 100’s of kilometres to see snow.
  • You know the rules of Rugby better than any referee.
  • To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750.
  • More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.
  • People have the most wonderful names like: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence, Colgate, Given, Patience, Portion and Coronation.
  • Now now‘ or ‘just now‘ can mean anything from a minute to a month.
  • You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.
  • Travelling at 120 km/h you’re the slowest vehicle on the highway.
  • You’re genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it.
  • We built a bullet train is Jozi, but we can’t fix all the bloody potholes.
  • The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.
  • You paint your car’s registration on the roof.
  • You have to prove that you don’t need a loan to get one.

The 8 Inch Check Point

Posted: September 22, 2010 in Humour
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Monday giggle…

Posted: September 20, 2010 in Humour, Toons
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Perils of a Jewish Upbringing

Posted: September 3, 2010 in Humour
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As I walked down the busy pavement with my wife, my eyes fell upon one of those unfortunate, ragged vagabonds that are found in every city these days.
Some people turned to stare.
Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them.
Recalling my old Rabbi who always admonished me to “care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked,” I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.
She was wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying her treasured worldly possessions in two plastic bags – my heart was touched by this person’s condition.
Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a true, hidden beauty.
A small voice inside my head called out, “Reach out, reach out and touch this person!
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So I did…
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I won’t be at Shul this week.